There’s a lot of teacher bashing going on these days. People complain about how much money we make, how much time we have off, how little time we actually spend in the classroom, etc., etc., etc. I understand these perceptions to a point. If you’re not a teacher, or married to one, or maybe a parent or a child of one, you may not know about the intense amount of preparation that goes into becoming a teacher. You may not know that by the time you become a permanently certified teacher, you have logged thousands of hours of college classes, and thousands of dollars of your own money. That you have studied, and researched, and written papers, and met with professors, and spent many weeks in a number of classrooms to help prepare you for the day you stand in front of a group of children and welcome them into your life for the next 10 months.
But I’m not here to talk about that. I’m here to talk about something that most teachers are very good at, and which often annoys, and sometimes angers parents. Actually, it’s something that often annoys relatives of teachers as well. I’m here to talk about common sense, and making connections. Some years ago, when my oldest daughter was in 5th grade, she played the flute. She was a good musician, and playing the instrument came pretty easily and naturally to her. With a minimum of extreme effort, she played first flute in elementary school, even sitting in the first chair for quite a time. When she arrived home from her first day at middle school, she was in quite a snit; it seems she had had to audition for her new music teacher, and after the audition, she was told that she would definitely not be sitting in the first chair. Her practicing over the summer had consisted of a quick rehearsal for a piece she would play in church, and the playing of said piece in church.
“Your teacher has a Master’s degree in music education”, I said to her. “Did you think she wouldn’t notice that you didn’t play over the summer?”
Here’s what I mean by making connections: When your child seems tired and unable to concentrate, it is quite likely that I am going to assume that he isn’t getting to bed at a reasonable hour on a regular basis. When all she wants to talk about is what level she reached on some video game that I’ve never heard of, but her homework isn’t done, I’m going to guess that the time spent on video games might be better spent on homework. When your child refuses to follow simple directions in school, I am going to think that it’s quite possible that you have trouble with him at home, as well. If you don’t have a reasonably amicable relationship with your child’s other parent, please don’t blame me when you don’t get matching information from your child or the school. When your child has to be reminded of simple manners, like covering her nose and mouth when she coughs and sneezes, saying, “please, thank you, and excuse me”, or waiting his turn to speak, I am going to imagine that you are not as attentive to those things at home as you could be. If you have asked me for, and I have given you advice about homework or discipline problems, please at least try them before you come back complaining to me that you can’t control your child. If you haven’t tried them, have the courtesy to tell me so. I can’t work magic.
When we make a suggestion about whom your child is hanging around with, and suggest that he might make a better choice, please don’t get angry with me. We see what happens to “good” children who hang around with the wrong crowd. Many of us have been teaching long enough, have been parents long enough, or have lived in this town long enough to see these things. Sometimes, all 3 of these things come into play.
I am happy to help your child with weaknesses she may have in reading or math, but I need you to do so at home as well. When I send home books for your child to read, or math work for him to do, it is helpful if you follow up on what I have given you. And please don’t think I have sympathy for your comment of, “I just can’t get her to listen to me” or “I just can’t get him to go to school”. She’s 9. Or he’s 11. Or whatever. If you haven’t disciplined him for the first 5 or 9 or 15 years of his life, starting now is going to be futile.
We’re not the bad guys. We care about your child a great deal, and anybody who thinks that we went through all of the energy, education, and money spent to continue in a job we don’t love, isn’t thinking too clearly. If we suggest that you might consider having your child participate in fewer activities because she is having difficulty with her studies, please take a moment to at least consider it. If you decide to keep him in all of the activities that he is in, then you need to understand that the amount of time we have available to us to help remediate your child are going to be limited.
I’m not saying we’re perfect, and I’m not saying we don’t make mistakes. I know that there are often extenuating circumstances, but for the most part, it is clear that things are pretty much what they seem. That’s what I mean by connections.
